Slurpee!!
[Mood Status:/ cought in a moment of self pity.. but with a functioning remote control..]
i read a blog from a friend few days ago.. here was my reply..
"Dear ——
November was a bad month with flood water rising in Kelantan state.. but not enough to sink my work-place underwater.. darn!!
ps.. i work in a hospital!!
sorry i didn’t notice this blog entry earlier..
i
know how it feels to be pushed into a corner.. like a wild beast.. to
be reduced into nothing and less than a zero.. to be forced to do the
lowest of the low.. and regret about it every single day afterwards..
even
while driving my car on my daily route to work.. i suddenly burst to
anger, engaging in imaginary explosive conversations, planning to fight
for what’s right, and crying and begging for what i have lost..
today,
i had to stop at 7 eleven.. had a slurpee.. wishing and feeling that..
i.. JUST.. WANT.. TO.. CRY.. to feel better.. and stop thinking about
the ghosts in the past..
then Abby calls, actually SMS asking me
to call her.. she can sense the storm in the calmness of my daily SMS..
but i don’t think she knows how much i love her and how much i
appreciate her everyday and every moment.. for saving me from the
anti-depressants, the sleeping pills and the psychiatric visits..
i
am trying to appreciate life again.. and take whatever it gives me..
from the slurpee i had earlier.. to the cartoon network that i am
tuning to but too lazy to switch the channel manually because the
remote control is out of batteries..
sorry too graphic?!
i
feel stronger.. because i am.. because i believe that i deserve
better.. because i believe that God prefers the fighter, the patient,
the useful and the good..
i know i know.. i am talking about me
me and me.. that’s my biggest curse.. my story doesn’t even resemble or
come close to what you have went through..
i believe that i am
a happy good person.. who is willing to give his trust to the one i
care.. but sometimes, i just can’t help it to wonder what if.. if i had
done things differently.. said things differently.. or turned to a bad
nasty person..
misery loves company.. and i just wanted to tell
you that.. whenever you need a friend.. a comrade in the battle called
life.. ahem!! that’s me.. the next big king-kong slurpee is on me..
and i promise to shut-up.. and listen.."
today..
on the way back home.. stopped at the 7 eleven.. finally got myself new
batteries for the remote.. didn’t feel for slurpee this time.. because
eventhough i am still upset from the big oil stain on my seat that a
stupid mechanic printed earlier this morning..
i can’t pretend to be a loner anymore.. especially when the valentine is coming..
guess with whom i am gonna spend it with >;-)
peace >:-)
